Jacksonville Tattoo Convention


One of the only pictures I found of me that night 🙂

Recently, I went to the Jacksonville Tattoo Convention for the pin-up
competition and boy was that a treat!
My buddy Lily Lector and I headed up to the entrance which was
littered with men in black shirts smoking. Lily immediately began to
drool proclaiming that she may be getting pregnant tonight while I on
the other hand am getting texts from my man saying “Kane says I smell
like poop.” Excuse me while I pick my panties off the floor…
Now I am use to comic book conventions where they have modern
technology like Square so they can take your money, however tattoo
conventions in Jacksonville do not have that. So I was forced to go over
to the ATM which ended up being convenient since it was next to the
overpriced bar. From the very limited selection I bought a Miller Lite,
or as Lily calls it my soccer mom drink and headed inside the convention
area. Maybe I’m just a bit of a germaphobe but I thought you weren’t
supposed to eat around a sterile environment or drink before you get
tattooed. But, hey, I’m not a tattoo artist.
So we walked around a bit then went to the hotel bar which had the
sweetest little gay bartender in the world who danced around like he was
serving Carol Burnett a cocktail. Now this lovely hotel was serving
doubles for $5 which was probably not a great idea since not only am I a
lightweight but I also had not eaten yet.
This drink of liquid courage was probably not my wisest decision
because when we walked over to the competition a cute blonde in a
leopard dress and flip flops asked if we wanted to enter. I squealed
yes, threw my purse to Shana and filled out the paperwork.
Competition time! Lily went on first and did the robot then I went on
later and shook my tits. The pin-up gods would have been proud. Of
course, I didn’t make it into the finals, which was fine by me, but I
was happy to see my dear girl Lily made the cuts. Now the finals was
where it got interesting because you had to pick the 3 questions they
could ask and of course half were sexual or about drinking. Lily was
asked what her favorite hobby was and she replied that it was drinking
boxed wine. However the young lady dressed as Minnie Mouse replied when
asked “what’s the best gift you’ve ever received from a guy” and she
said “a pearl necklace” with a big wink! I think she needs to date a man
with money so she gets real jewelry. Another girl when asked what her
favorite drink was, replied a BJ….Jacksonville, home of the classiest
pin-up competition in ‘Merica!
Thankfully, my girl Lily at least placed 3rd and as she walked down to
the line of the losers, I gave her a congratulatory humping. Then we
watched the winner in an acrylic corset that had seen better days twerk
on stage. ‘MERICA!


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